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Alternative Faith - December 2006

Adopt a Nun

December 27th 2006 19:15
Maybe they need better advertising!

Yes, you read correctly. You can actually pay money to adopt your very own nun. The way it works is you pay them money and they return service to you by praying for you. Sounds kind of silly? Well at least I’m not the only one to think so. But there are people that are doing it, believe it or not. One woman was shown saying that it’s great to have someone on your side with a direct link to God. Are these people for real? Since when do you have to pay someone, especially a nun, to pray for you? And correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t God supposed to hear all prayers….and not in any given order? By having this, they are making it seem like the rest of the people on the planet that pray have to wait in line behind the so called holy people such as priests and nuns.


So I suppose I am to believe that a nun or a priest, even the ones that have done harm to children, would have their prayers answered or at least heard before anyone else. So does this mean that the Pope would be the supreme person to go to for a prayer to make it through to God? Now, don’t get me wrong. I understand the nuns are trying to raise money for a cause, but should they really be exploiting themselves in order to raise the money?


Well, those of you that actually think this is a grand idea (and obviously have hit your head), you can go to the website of the church and inquire about adopting a nun for your very own prayer purposes. So what do you get when you choose to adopt a nun? Well, I guess it depends on how old the nun is…you may end up changing some diapers! Just kidding. Anyway, what you do get is an actual adoption certificate, a picture of the nun with her biography, the bi-monthly magazine, and a promise of daily prayer from the nun. To top it off, you can actually contact your nun through e-mail. How much are you looking at for the adoption costs? They suggest a donation amount of $160-$500 for an entire year.

Do you think people are actually falling for this? Yes, they are…to the tune of 5 million raised for their retirement home so far. Apparently the nuns are teachers and have no help from the bishop or diocese, so they have to raise the money for the retirement home by themselves. And you thought the company that you work for sucks! These poor women have to sell themselves in order to raise money for the elder nuns in the home since the Catholic church won’t help them. It seems to me that the Vatican and the Catholic church has enough money to go around but would rather see their nuns resort to selling prayer time instead of stepping in to help them pay for the elderly nuns’ retirement and care. Catholics across the country and around the world should take this to heart, especially when giving to the collection plate every week. So where exactly is that money going? Maybe they have a bank account set up in the name of Jesus Christ, who knows.

Blessed Be
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The Biggest Idiots of 2006

December 27th 2006 18:09
2006 Biggest Idiot Winner


As the year comes to a close, I thought I would take a look back at the top idiots of 2006 that I have blogged about.

Sister Tracy. Remember her? She’s the nutjob Christian with the crazy website that showed disturbing pictures of abortion. Her website was on it’s way to being banned in the UK along with other areas throughout Europe and Asia. Americans are either more tolerant or stupid for allowing this site to be posted on search engines like Google. Free country you say? Yes it is, but she likes to spew forth nothing but hate speech, which is not legal in this day and age. Hopefully she won’t make the idiots list for 2007.

Next on the idiot list is Steve Russo. He was the Jesus freak that wrote the book “What’s the Deal with Wicca?”. He thought it would be a great idea to write yet another book devoted to Christianity, where he tries to help his fellow Christians keep their children away from the evils of Paganism and Wicca. I say bravo to him for talking about Wicca and Paganism with others. Apparently he’s never heard of the concept of any publicity is good publicity. Whether Mr. Russo agrees with Paganism or not is up to him. But in the words of the Geico cavemen, he needs to “do a little research” before spreading hatred and lies. I’m thinking of writing a book on Christianity this year and basing it on my thoughts and no facts what-so-ever. It wouldn’t get past the printing stage without nutjobs like him attacking me on telling lies against God and Jesus. What ever happened to “let he without sin cast the first stone”? Apparently there are a lot of Christians in this country that are completely sin free.

Let’s move onto Morgan, the self proclaimed Pagan Priestess in Melbourne, FL that had a run in with the doormen at a bar. She was supposedly refused entry and then began making a spectacle of herself by “casting” on the men and calling on the Guardians for protection. Oh, but did I mention that she also called the past manager of the bar and supposedly stated how she “made a lot of money from venues like this”. In my opinion, she dealt out her own discrimination to the doorman and seemed to also be a little off her rocker as well. If I were the judge, my verdict would be that she is completely nuts and is giving other civilized Pagans a bad name…so she is banned from the religion and must say 10 hail Mary’s and write “I will not call myself a Pagan Priestess ever again” 10,000 times. I’m not sure how this panned out, but I’m sure she’s plotting against another establishment. Where there’s a will there’s a way I suppose.

Here is yet another idiot, or should I say group of idiots in this case? Around the time of Halloween, it seemed Christians wackos began coming out of the woodwork. The next idiot(s) of 2006 was Mr. DiBucci and the Freedom Full Gospel Assembly of God in Bath, NY. He was the church’s worship leader that was involved in the so-called “Choose” campaign for Halloween. That was where fellow Christians walked through the displays of heaven and hell and were shown what would happen to them if they turned from God. It seemed appropriate to have scare tactics such as that during Halloween, but I think he missed the mark on this one. Actually, I think he wasn’t even in the same ball park. Way to go! Let’s see how many parishioners we can scare away from the church by making them think if they even breathe the wrong way they will spend eternity in Hell. Silly nutjob evangelicals….when will they learn?

The next idiot was some old person with their panties/underwear in a bunch…or would that be their Depends in a bunch? Anyway, in Jacksonville, FL an old person complained that the children’s ward in the hospital had displayed decorations of “witches” for Halloween and they thought it was morally wrong to do so. Yep, that’s right. The old fogy complained because the decorations for Halloween only included Witches….no skeletons, pumpkins, ghosts, or pictures of people burning in Hell because of celebrating Halloween. Hey old dude….get a grip. Yet again we have a Christian wacko talking up Paganism. Silly Christians…when will they learn? What’s the first rule again? All together now: “Any publicity is good publicity”. Maybe he/she needs to cut back on the little pink sweetener packets and get a real life while they have the time to enjoy it.

Here was another winner on my list from last year: Marcia Montenegro. She was the author of “Spellbound” which was yet another informative book for Christians. Apparently there is not enough information out there to protect the Christian families against the evil Pagans, so since she used to be a Pagan and astrologer she decided to write a book as well. Maybe she didn’t make enough money telling the future, who knows. Her book was better than the drivel Mr. Russo was shelling out, but I still have to wonder why these people think it’s okay to write about things like this. All they are doing is adding fuel to the fire of Christian –VS- Pagan. I wasn’t as harsh on her in my blog as I was on Mr. Russo only because she actually had done her research. But come on….”why can’t we all just get along”. Then again, if this happened what could I blog about?

The next idiot was ONE of my favorites. Judge Tom Jarrell in Greensboro, NC claimed that he had a run in with a witch. Apparently there was a woman going through a child custody battle. Since he was the judge on the case, the woman decided to “pad” her chances of winning by sprinkling something from a purple bad onto the car of the judge. He claimed she was casting a spell on him and acted like a dog with his tail between his legs. Oh no!!! A witch! Supposedly he had stated in an interview that “that made the case easy to decide”. Shame on him for making a decision on a child’s life based on his beliefs and shame on her for getting caught. She could have at least done it in passing and been a little more secretive about what she was doing to his car for Goddess sake! I guess the woman supposedly told the bailiff that the judge would die in a fiery car crash. Sounds odd to me that this woman was supposedly Wiccan and then supposedly cast a “bad” spell on the judge. He apparently needed to “do a little research” into the law of 3. At any rate, the judge made it okay and the woman probably lost her child because he was afraid of the big bad witch.

Rounding up the last 2 idiots of the year, we have a commentary that was posted in the Canton Repository about the case of missing Wiccan books from the local library. Apparently books on Wicca and Paganism are vanishing all over the country and it’s becoming a virtual epidemic. I have no idea where they get there information, but the Columbus area has tons of Pagan books in the public library…all of which are still there and have not only been checked out but returned as well. Unfotunately, there are crazies in all religions. The person commenting on this “event” stated that the books were probably taken by Christians and possibly burned so nobody else could read them. Ever hear of a bookstore or the internet? Yes, the library is free but there is even more information online! Does this person think the Christians will be taking away the internet as well? The probable cause of the missing books was probably someone, maybe even a Pagan, checking out the books and keeping them for themselves because they were virtually free and the person doesn’t have the money to buy the books they want. Case closed. Wow, maybe I should be a PI….nah.

Last but definitely not least is the biggest idiot of 2006…Laura Mallory. She was and still is the crazy Christian woman in Georgia that was trying to get Harry Potter taken out of the local public schools. She feared that the books promoted witchcraft and that children were being virtually brainwashed into believing in magic. Who knows, maybe there was a huge increase of young witches in the community due to the Harry Potter books. I doubt it though. It seems to me that Ms. Mallory had not only lost her mind, but decided she was going to try to force the rest of the community to loose their minds as well. To make things even better, she wanted the school board to replace the books with the Left Behind series. This way all children could be saved and believe in God and Jesus, not read a fictional book about Harry Potter and magic that isn’t real. Maybe she actually doesn’t like the fact that these books have gotten children interested in reading once more! So she wants a bunch of stupid, illiterate, Jesus zombies I suppose. Well, fortunate for the schools, the board slapped her around and basically told her to hit the bricks. But is this the last of Laura Mallory? Apparently not. I was actually thinking she was going to take a break during Christmas and pick up the fight after New Years, but she was on Fox News talking about this a day or so after the school board gave the verdict. So I think she will probably stretch this out for all it’s worth. She’s had her 15 minutes of fame and now she’s going to want more. In her mind she’s not thinking “WWJD”….she’s thinking “WWLD (What Would Laura Do)”. It could make an interesting year to see where she goes with this.

So the big idiot of 2006 was Laura Mallory. For some reason I foresee her being the possible big idiot of 2007 as well. In the meantime, her kids will continue to grow up and eventually move out and maybe go to college. Do you think she’ll realize this happened or will she be on a soap box somewhere preaching the evils of Harry Potter? At any rate, it all comes back to rule #1…any publicity is good publicity. J.K Rowling must be loving the fact that this crazy woman is continuing to talk about her books. I see dollar signs! Plus, she’s making Christian wackos look even nuttier (if this could actually happen) but also she’s getting Wicca and Paganism talked about on the national media! Way to go Laura! If you have some spare time, Google Laura Mallory and Harry Potter. It’s amazing how much this situation was discussed! So my thanks to Laura Mallory for allowing the issue of witches being bad backfire on you by allowing Wicca and Paganism to be discussed nationwide! Way to go crazy lady!

Blessed Be
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Get Your Yule On

December 22nd 2006 02:59

Today is the Wiccan holiday of Yule or Winter Solstice. So what is the technical function of Winter Solstice anyway? Well, for all of us in the northern hemisphere, it means that the sun appeared at its lowest point in the southern sky near sunset. Today was actually the shortest day of the year. The sun was directly over the Tropic of Capricorn also. So what does that all mean? It means the sun is returning and this is the return toward summer.

Of course there are far more things that have developed from the celebration of Winter Solstice. Sometime in the 4th century, the early Christian leaders decided amongst themselves to have the celebration of the birth of Jesus to fall within days of Yule. Oddly enough though, it’s not just the Pagans and Christians that have major celebrations in the month of December which tend to fall around the day of the Winter Solstice. All of them lay claim to the month of December and depending on your beliefs, you may side with one or many. But does it really matter? Not really. All that really matters is that you are celebrating because of what you know in your heart, not what the media or your neighbor tells you to celebrate. This is supposed to be the “season of giving”, but normally it ends up the season of taking…taking away the rights of other religions and their beliefs because you think your opinion trumps all others. So before I get back to the topic of Yule, wake up and stop fooling yourself! Your opinion is good when expressed but please stop force feeding the rest of us…it’s the holidays for Goddess sake…take the month off.

So anyway, today was the Winter Solstice and the celebration of Yule. So how did you celebrate? Do you know how some Wiccans and Pagans celebrate Yule? Well of course you know I am going to tell you. Some tend to meet in Covens or Unitarian churches and perform rituals to say goodbye to the darkness and welcome the sun God back. In general, if your home is not decorated yet, some will decorate with the colors of red, green, and white. I actually decorate my house with red and silver. There can also be the use of pine cones, holly and various evergreens. Depending on the Pagan’s view, they may wait until “Christmas Day” and exchange gifts (if it has always been a family tradition) and other decide to celebrate and exchange presents over a number of days. I think I like the 2nd way…more gifts are good gifts (hahaha). Santa can be a feature in the season as well, especially if children are present. As with all Pagan holidays, the Goddess should be honored. Some tend to place images of the Goddess around their home. Use of candles to represent the re-birth of light is also found, as well as possibly singing or chanting.

So what kind of candles, herbs, and food would you find in a Pagan’s house during Yule? Well, that depends but I can tell you what the average would be. Red, green, white, gold (and I also use silver) candles, herbs and aromatics such as bay, pine, ginger, myrrh, valerian, cinnamon, nutmeg, oak, and orange. I like to take a min potpourri pot that is heated by candle and add water, cinnamon, nutmeg, a dash of myrrh oil or cinnamon oil, and orange rind. Of course there is also the Yule log. In this day and age the Yule log tends to be a confection that you eat, but if you have a fireplace or firepit you can also burn a traditional Yule log.

What kind of food is used for celebrations? Gingerbread cookies, eggnog, chestnut stuffing, pork roast, stolen (a sweat German bread), wassail (hot mulled apple cider). I like to make all kinds of cookies and yummy treats, including rum balls. Even though all of what I make isn’t focused around Yule per say, I like to take what I like and add it to the celebration. A lot of people do this now, no matter what religion you are. Taking your own thoughts and combining them with a religious following to make it your own is becoming a bigger trend…probably to make religions more easy to swallow.

So no matter what your belief and what you are doing or not doing to celebrate the season, I say happy holidays and merry Christmas. Now, the rum balls are calling my name and I must bend to their will. Have a great holiday with your friends and family and I will be back to blog about all of the crazy things the nutjob Christians did during baby Jesus’ birthday celebration.

Blessed Be




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Bottom Menu Section

December 17th 2006 03:23
Besides blogging for Orble, I also write articles for Associated Content. Check it out!
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Christians Only. No Others Allowed.

December 17th 2006 03:10
What Would Jesus Do?

Are you a Christian? Statistics show that a majority of people in the US with religious beliefs are a Christian in some form. Well, Christmas is only a couple of weeks away and recently there has been the yearly controversy of what to call the holidays. So here is my question: What about the other people in this country that do not consider themselves to be Christians? Why do the Christians find it their duty in life to commandeer the winter holidays and really all other major holidays as well? What if you are a Jew, Muslim, Pagan, Sikh, Buddhist, or even an atheist? Why do we as Americans allow one group to take over a holiday or celebration and say it is solely theirs and nobody else can have it? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of the people you see on TV ranting and raving about being politically correct and changing everything. But, when and where do you draw the line?
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Harry Forever, Mallory No More

December 15th 2006 16:15

Finally, the battle against Harry Potter that has been raging in Georgia has been ended. I blogged earlier about the case against Harry Potter. Laura Mallory, certifiable Christian wacko and mother, wanted the school board to remove the Harry Potter books from the school library and be replaced with the Left Behind series. Why? Not only because she’s nuts and a fundy, but also because she thinks that the books promote Wicca and witchcraft…which apparently is the root of all evil. So instead of spending quality time with her children and educating them on what she deems to be right and wrong, she decided to go on this escapade to get Harry banned from the schools. If at first you don’t succeed, right? That must be her motto. She lost the battle once back in May and decided to appeal and try again.

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The Creation

‘Tis the Season! Are you looking for a religious belief but you just cannot seem to grasp the thoughts of Christians, Muslims, Jews, or anyone else in between? Well then the ways of the Flying Spaghetti Monster may be just right for you! Have I lost my mind? Am I a blasphemer? Or is the Flying Spaghetti Monster real and all-knowing? Before those of you reading this begin praying for my eternal soul and start envisioning my future life of eternal hell, let’s dive a little deeper into the subject.
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Christians -VS- Pagans Round 200,000

December 7th 2006 21:21

Here we go yet again, another problem in a public school where it is the Christian righteous versus the Pagan heathen. According to an article in a Charlottesville Virginia news line, a group of Christian students had tried to pass out flyers at Hollymead Elementary School a while back that had to do with vacation bible school. They were trying to use the “backpack mail” process where the kids take info back home to the parents. But because the school had rules in place forbidding it, they were not allowed to do so. UNTIL a father of one of the children contacted Jerry Falwell to go after the county. At that point, the school board reversed their decision and allowed the distribution of the flyers, and deemed it okay for all religious groups to do the same.

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So Bodhi is only 2 days away. What do they do to celebrate this holiday and why? Bodhi day is when Buddha achieved enlightenment. He left his family and everything in search for the meaning of life, especially for the meaning of its hardships. After not having any success with teachers, he decided to sit under a papal tree and after 8 days he realized that everyone suffers because of ignorance. But ignorance could be overcome by following the eightfold path that he advocated. So the Buddhists generally regard this day as the birth of Buddhism.
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Merry Yul-Eid-Christ-Kwan-Hanu-Bodhi!

December 5th 2006 16:03

So Christmas, Yule, Hannukkah, or whatever you want to call it is just around the corner. There seems to be many different religions celebrating different “holidays” in December. Here is a short list along with approximate dates for the diverse celebrations that will be honored or acknowledged this year:
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Move Over Warthogs!

December 2nd 2006 04:43
Yet Another Online Magick School


It's all about the money

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